akhirnya kisah kami melaburkan tirainya

08 July 2011 - ( 11.18 p.m )
tarikh dan masa ketika aku memutuskan keputusan utk berpisah dgn dia . ada lah sebabnya kenapa aku harus mmbuat keputusan seperti itu , 


mungkin kamu fikir aku kejam atau kuat utk menghadapi semua ini tp kita perlu tahu tidak semua org tabah dan kuat menghadapi perpisahan . begitulah jga aku . apatah lagi bila kita betul2 ikhlas mencintai seseorg dan terpaksa meninggalkn org yg pernah mnjadi sebahagian dlm hidup kita . aku harap aku akan tabah . sukar utk melupakan kisah ini, dia pernah mbuatkn aku menjadi seorang gadis yg paling bertuah yg pernah mmiliki cintanya wlaupun hanya sekejap saja . harap kami tdk bmusuhan sbb aku masih mncintai dia . selalu merindui dia dan menanti kehadirannya . 


airmata tolong la bhenti . :'( 

pasta day ! outing - me , lin , duzz , khai & da'ue

hey blog , 
hari ne aku , lyn , panduzz , khairi & da'ue p pizza hut di batu4 . c da'ue spent mkn . weeee . ! happy jga laa lgpun saya sudah lama mgidam mau mkn pasta . iskk isk ! - jgn fkir bkn2! - em , masa di pizza kn , ketawa jaa keja kami ( kcuali saya - kurang ktwa, ) . aww , c da'ue buat lawak gilak oo . adakah dia anggap c lin tuh girlfie dia . aioo . bsuap2 laa drg td , kongsi minuman . haha . funny yaw! cs da'ue jarang buat prangai mcm tuh. trus laa kunu c duzz jeles2 . tieww! c khai pla sedih sbb dia teda psgn . c khai ckp da'ue + lin and panduzz + aku ( gilak sgt ! cisshh . ! -.- ) yeah ! my wish became true , saya kena spent PASTAAAA! sungguh sedap . aha . 
drg semua mkn pizza , then drg kac tggl aku 2 slice pizza . mcm slalu drg dera aku ! drg suruh saya mkn smpai habis . ngee . tapaa , bdk kuat mkn ba ne . aha . c pnduzz tnya aku , diera kau mmg lmbat mkn ka ? aku diamm sja . dlm hati , telan ja .. bnyk d fkir mmg la lmbat . aie ! mau mkn pun ssh , fikir psl dia sajja . aaaaa! saya mau TERIAKKK ! LOLL . jm 5 gtuh kami keluar dr pizza , rm60 lebih . awww , thanks to da'ue cs spent kami mkn . smua dia yg bayarkn -.- ( rsa serba slh yoo ) . keluar jaa trus ne batuk ku ndaa bhenti . sesak nafas sudah , tgn ku pun sejuk . muka pun pucat. c lin risau sudah tgok aku. aiyaa , kenapa bgtuh oo ? -.- belum sembuh lg ka ? aish . cepat laa sembuh . :/
masa melintas jalan c duzz trus myeberang , tggl aku , lin & da'ue ( khai naik motor ) c da'ue mcm bodyguide joo . dia tarik beg ku dr belakang , dia ckp bahaya ba! blablablaaaa ( ceramah . hate taw ! ) smpai jaa d busstop , aku & lin trus naik bas . entah dtg gilak drg ne b'love2 plaaaaaaaa! -.- ( da'ue & lin ) c duzz mw jua mgampit . ahahaha . but it's funny la . lutchu . dan saya blh ketawa lg mcm slalu wlaupun hanya skejap sajja . 


thanks GOD , I have a friends like them . 

You ask me how my day was as if it is same everyday. I say that I'm okay but you really don't know how I feel. Do you think I will be okay without you? will you be okay without me? It is really hard to live in this world without you. That is why I blame myself for still breathing. What should I do? Even now, I live these painful days because of what you said. Tell me if this is a bad thing to do. Do you live every single day painfully like me? You and me. Are we too late? Do not we have a chance? I still think about you and you might know this .Is it finally this? Are we going to end up like this? Is it okay with you? I don't think I can do it. The love that I found by meeting you, I wont find it anywhere else even if I die. What should I do? If it isn't you, no one else can be in my heart. Please hold me and you know that even though the whole world would try .No one can erase your memories. So please hold me. Is it too late? Do not we have a chance but me, I still think about you, and you might not know it.

a note

dear bloggie ,
when my friends ask me about my relations with him , i say i don't know . seriously , in my deep heart I wanna scream and crying . I don't know what going on with my relations . what am I to him and what is my real status right now . am I still her girlfriend ? or are we already break up ? huhu .


dear my sweety diary ,
I wanna meet him , I wanna hear his voice , I wanna text him and waiting his text , I wanna laugh and make a joke with him . I really miss him. :'( I'm crying when write on this page , yeah it's true . swear to God , I don't lie . I really miss him . really really miss . I'm not strong , i'm just a weakness girl . when I sit down in staircase or alone in my bedroom or anything I do that will make me remember him , I feel lost . yess! that what I feel . feel like there's nothing in my life , no joyful & happiness . all I feel just a dark world , no light , no his laugh , no his voice , no text from him , there nothing just empty and a memories that I only can remember then crying like a child .


dear my little note ,
all I need just the answer from him . are we still in same heart ? he still mad at me ? he hate me ? please , I need his answer . :'(


p/s : i'm still loving him , but maybe its just a memories for him . hope he happy :'] there's nothing I can do 

only one - yellow card

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there´s just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can´t, I can´t hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can´t, I can´t get up when you´re gone

And something´s breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won´t walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there´s just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there´s just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

Baby don't you be so mean
I try to keep my conversation clean
But you the flyest thing i seen
Since i came up in here, you a superstar my dear
I dont wanna waist your time
With no corny playa lines
But girl if you dont mind
I will love to occupy the space right by your side
boy can we chill ?

Maybe this decision was a mistake.
You probably don't care what I have to say.
But it's been heavy on my mind for months now.
Guess I'm trying to clear some mental space.
I would love to talk to you in person.
But I understand why that can't be.
I'll leave you alone for good I promise.
If you answer this one question for me.

I just wonder,
Do you ever,
Think of me,
Anymore, do you?


I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interrupt your life.
I just wonder do I ever cross your mind?